Congratulations!! Here’s your RYT 200hrs certificate- you passed! Wow! What an achievement- I’m a registered yoga teacher-now what?! 200 hrs flew by in 8 months and now I was free to fly the nest! My wonderful teacher David Michel had been a brilliant security blanket but it was time to go forth and explore my own classes and workshops. 

It was great to see that students who started with me as my ‘guinea pigs’ were there to enjoy my success of qualifying and continued on with my classes. I became aware very quickly that I was the sole decision maker in this process - my brand, my fees, my locations, my lesson planning, my insurance - the list goes on. To begin with this was a slightly overwhelming prospect but soon became exciting.

I also learnt to fail on my own. Yes In the first 6 months I failed. In my over zealous need to impress I put out a retreat day - only 2 people put their names down for it- urgghhh fail. On reflection it was much too soon for me to do that when I hadn’t even established a name for myself - duly noted annnnd move on - lesson learnt and no one died!

Equally I feel I’ve had success - or what I define as success (feel free to deliberate this of course). Success for me isn’t about how many students are in the class or how much money I charge - for me success has come in the form of seeing students finally relax in savasana or a release of emotion after my class or seeing the look on someone’s face after my modification helps them into a pose they thought was inaccessible- to me yoga is a gift that I can offer people - that’s success.

My personality denotes that I give 100% in whatever I do, so in the last 6 months I’ve attended workshops (inversions, hips and splits) to enhance my knowledge to my students. I’ve been so lucky to gravitate towards some amazing teachers who have given me some invaluable knowledge and wisdom about anatomy, philosophy and just being fab mentors to me and guiding me to the kind of yoga instructor and human I want to be! Thank you David Michel and corrie mccallum- check out their workshops you won’t be sorry! (@davidmichelyoga & @stretchbreathesmile)

So what next..... yoga has created a big transformation in me, lit a creative streak in me! So the next 6 months should be exciting! Just before I qualified as RYT200 I also qualified as a mental health first aider and instructor. This has given me many tools and is a huge passion as mental health has been in my family. I also attend a weekly kundalini class with the amazing Taran Cameron (New earth kundalini FB or @tarankissmyinkstudio ) who has inspired me to do my level 1 kundalini training in the future!

Namaste!

Peaceful Warrior - 1 year on!

Happy 1st birthday to Peaceful warrior yoga! I can't believe how quickly it has gone! It's been a good year establishing myself and enjoying people enjoying my classes, especially the sold out yin yoga workshops which gives my students a chance to slow down and explore within. 

My last blog has been very different to the last six months! I have spent a lot of time thinking about this blog and what I was going to share.

November 2019 I came to a grinding halt and I broke. I was diagnosed with depression and put on medication. To quote Hannah Blum from the book "The truth about broken" - "It is from our broken that we bloom". I described myself to someone as broken who replied and said "Darling, you don't need fixing because you are not broken" - quite a statement when thats exactly how I felt with all the usual feelings of shame and weakness. 

For some people that know me this might be hard to read or understand and I won't go into anymore detail than that - so why am I telling you this? 

I have a family history of Mental Illness - I thought it wouldn't happen to me.

I am a yoga teacher - I thought it wouldn't happen to me.

I am a Mental health first aider - I thought it wouldn't happen to me. 

Yet despite all of these things and ignoring all the red flags such as isolating myself, lack of concentration, crying and dark thoughts- Guess what?? It happened to me!!!

So what I am hoping is that if this blog helps one person or a friend/family- my honesty and openess has helped reduce stigma and potentially saved a life. Ask the difficult questions, listen and offer a hug - sometimes thats all thats needed. 

So as we are in the middle of a pandemic I implore you to take this time to explore, feel and sit with yourselves. The entire world has been forced to stop - take that opportunity with both hands!! 

I have used yoga as part of my recovery and its been an amazing help but also scary at times but the main thing I learnt is about self love. 

" We toss the word 'self love' around without explaining what it really means. Self love isn't about getting to a place where you love yourself, it's about loving yourself in the place you are in" 

(Hannah Blum "The truth about broken" 2019)

That was a wow moment right there! In darkness we find light. I'm looking forward to seeing what the next six months brings and will keep you updated when face to face classes will resume but for now i'm providing FREE weekend facebook live sessions- so feel free to tune in. I am excited to be journeying into Somatics, creative sequencing and an adjustments masterclass- So watch this space!!

Namaste. 

The REAL Truth about COVID (November 2020)

Whilst sipping a cup of tea this week I realised that it was time for a new blog. Where on earth did this year go? Although we are all probably pleased to see the back of it! At first I didn't think there was much to write about but on second thought there is a fair bit!

So the last 6 months has pretty much had one word on everyones lips ....COVID19.  I realised quite quickly that my experience of COVID has been very different to everyone else's! I did not get furloughed, I did not get stuck wondering what to watch on Netflix and I didn't get drunk in the daytime!

I did however find the reason I fell in love with working for the NHS. I was able to don full PPE and care for COVID positive patients in the intensive care unit. It hit me one night shift as I was washing my patient, how lucky I felt to be in the position I was. The patient had a breathing tube but no sedation trying to wake up and could hear me talk to him as I explained what I was doing and I spoke to him about his beloved family members who had left cards and colouring from his grandchildren. He wiggled his eyebrows enthusiastically when I mentioned them by name. At that moment I had a huge wave of gratefulness - a word used a lot in yoga- that I was still able to eat and drink and go to the toilet when I wanted and have a conversation any time I wanted to. With gratefulness came compassion for myself. This was a session in yin yoga that I did called "housekeeping of the mind, body and soul" which at that moment I realised I was fulfilling all 3 as I had to look after myself to look after others. 

It was from COVID19 that Yoga for mental health wellness workshops were born. Social media exploded with mental health awareness as isolation was starting to take its toll. I realised that I could transfer my caring and compassion from the hospital to my yoga classes. I spoke to the lovely Victoria Manning @theyogashed in Wickham and told her my idea. She thought it was a wonderful idea but I was struggling with what to call the workshops as i didn't want people to think you could only attend if you had a mental illness or poor mental health or maybe the mear mention of mental health would put people off but she said " No- help reduce the stigma and let people know its ok to practice yoga for mental health wellness" So thank you Vicky for the encouragement and the use of the gorgeous Yoga Shed space. 

So as we head towards the end of 2020 i'm grateful for what COVID has bought me personally and I know i'm lucky the NHS will always have my back - just like yoga! As we head into wave two I want to say thank you to everyone who has supported me by practicing regularly and now as I head into Zoom classes an even bigger thank you for joining me on the screen to practice! Please see my Instagram page via link to see classes available.

At one recent class before lockdown, I decided to be honest and tell the class I had just changed medication for my depression and therefore my balance may be off and words hard to find and maybe a bit slurred. I received a text afterwards from one of the students to say 

" Thank you for Yoga today- especially as you're not feeling so good. Thank you for sharing yourself with us to help us with our mental health"

So the REAL truth about COVID is that within stillness we can find ourselves and show ourselves compassion and care to help others. 

Merry Christmas everyone - see you in 2021!!

The REAL truth about COVID Part 2

I did part one of this blog in November and I can’t believe how quickly the time goes! 

Christmas was very strange, seeing the government change their plans last minute from a free for all ... to Christmas is cancelled! This affected people in many different ways. Some were devastated that their plans couldn’t go ahead, some were relieved that their plans couldn’t go ahead and for some Christmas was already cancelled due to working or isolation. 

Covid has been an amazing time of reflection and learning about our freedom, our friends/family and also about human touch. Without touch how do we show love, concern, camaraderie or celebration? And in yoga how to modify with only your voice- this has been good learning especially over a virtual platform!

Skin is the largest organ in the human body and when we are touched we release Oxytocin - that feel good chemical- without this it’s no wonder the rates of mental health illness are increasing throughout the pandemic. 

It would have been easy to shy away from online teaching as its “not the same” but so many students have sent me messages to say they are pleased I did and that yoga has been their ‘therapy’! 

Has this made people turn in and love themselves more? Deep breathing exercises, self massage and being still have all helped me survive this lack of human connection and I’ve realised how much I miss it and took it for granted. For some touch has not been missed in and out of yoga - which of course is ok too. 

As we entered wave 2 the NHS was definitely struggling with lack of touch to colleagues and of course patients which has had a profound effect on many, especially with the addition of full PPE which made it impersonal and more difficult. Touch has a complex language of its own with nuances, cultural differences and emotional expression which has been hard to replicate without the use of touch. Have you noticed? How has it made you feel? Have you struggled? Have you enjoyed it? 

I think I had a covid lag. Only now am I really starting to miss all the creature comforts of holidays, dinner out and drinks with friends. Because the nature of my job , nothing changed and we just kept going it’s now hit me all at once. 

T

So the REAL truth about Covid part 2 is that connection and touch are needed for our mental well-being, relationships and understanding of ourselves and others which has been sorely missed (by some) When this is over I for one will be ready to hug and be hugged!

Can we store emotions in the body and can yoga help? Myth, mystery or fact?

This was my initial musing for this piece of work. I quickly realised that there was way more to this question than first meets the eye.  I have had personal experience of depression and I remember wondering why my body hurt so much when I wasn’t active and I have also had emotional releases with particular yoga postures/practise which I haven’t been able to explain.

Firstly what are emotions? How many do we have? Are there different types? Are emotions different to feelings? Where in the body could they be stored? How long for? Does yoga help release them?

After reviewing the literature, there is much more to consider to this initial question. One of the main considerations is not just about emotions but trauma and the mental ramifications that trauma may have such as PTSD, depression and anxiety. This in turn can affect the physical body such as cardiovascular illness, immune system functioning, gastrointestinal conditions, reproductive disorders and musculoskeletal and pain disorders (Andrea, 2011).  This was also found to be the case in a study by Afari et al (2014) who found significant links between trauma, PTSD and functional somatic syndrome. The study found that somatic complaints such as Fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome and irritable bowel syndrome all lack physical or biological etiology but are generally accompanied by depression, anxiety and psychological trauma in childhood. This can also be described as allostatic load. Defined, allostatic load is

“The wear and tear on the body which accumulates as an individual is exposed to repeated or chronic stress”  (McEwin and Stellar, 1993)

Increased allostatic load is a significant hazard to health and wellbeing which has been highlighted in many pieces of research including the articles above. To reduce allostatic load interventions such as good sleep, safe environment, good social scaffolding, good diet, avoiding alcohol and drugs and participating in physical activity such as yoga which in turn will also improve mental health (Juster et al, 2010) NB as far as I am aware this is just based on adults – child trauma is a whole new subject!

So can yoga help? If we begin to look at the 8 limbs of yoga in Patanjali’s system the first two limbs of yoga are yama’s and niyamas. The yamas in particular are Self regulating behaviours which are related to how we interact with other people and the world in general (Gangadhar & McCall, 2018). Therefore this might already be a challenge for individuals who have emotional dysregulation such as Borderline personality disorder (BPD). However with certain yoga postures and pranayama yoga could help by giving the mind focus, changing physiology such as heartrate, reduce tension within the body and give feelings of empowerment and inner strength (Gangadhar & McCall, 2018) and Gard et al, 2014 state that self regulation becomes more efficient over time with practice.

So going back to the beginning we have established with some evidence that yes trauma and stress increase allostatic load and have severe consequences on the body, but are emotions linked to trauma? Joshi (2021) found there is a connection between physical pain and emotional pain by the physical discomfort signalling to the brain that emotional trauma needs to be resolved and that certain body pain may indicate different emotions. In this study it was found that yoga nidra was the best course of action due to the complete self awareness and extreme relaxation of the nervous system. Likewise other studies of this nature have included Davies (2018) who investigated the affect of yoga nidra for reducing emotional pain and Kumar (2010) who investigated yoga nidra on guilt. I have struggled to find much research that gives conflicting evidence. 

Ultimately, with the evidence found there is a link between trauma, mental health , emotions and physical pain and that yoga in some form can help. There are other considerations such as age, type of trauma, mental health conditions, when stress and trauma happened and the types of language used by different researchers ( emotions/trauma/stress) which will affect the answer to this huge question but I intend to  research this further to help me on my yoga journey as student and teacher. 

References 

Andrea. W &  Sharma. R & Zelechoski. A.D & Spinazzola. J.  Physical health problems after single trauma exposure: when stress takes root in the body . Journal of the American psychiatric nurses association. 2011. 17(6) 378-392 DOI : 10.1177/1078930311425187

Afari. N & Ahumada. S.M & Johnson Wright. L & Mostoufi. S & Golnari. G & Reis. V & Cuneo. J.G. psychological trauma and functional somatic syndromes: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Psycosom Med. 2014 Jan 76(1): 2-11 DOI: 10.1097/PSY.0000000000000010

Gangadhar. B.N and McCall. T. Yoga for mental health. 2018. Edinburgh.

Gard. T & Noggle.J.J & Park.C.L & Vago.D.R & Wilson. A. Potential self- regulatory mechanisms of yoga for psychological health. Front. Hum. Neuroscience., 30th September 2014 https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2014.00770

Joshi. B Impact of yoga nidra as natural tranquilliser in emotional pain International journal of health science research. 2021. 11(4): 156-169. DOI: https://doi.org/10.52403/ijhsr.20210422 

Juster. R.P & McEwan. B. S & Lupien.S.J  Allostatic load biomarkers of chronic stress and impact on mental health and cognition.  2010. Neuroscience and biobehavioral reviews. 35. (1): 2-16          DOI: 10.1016/j.neurobiorev.2009.10.002PMID19822172S2CID33562563

McEwen. B.S & Stellar.E  Stress and the individual. Mechanisms leading to disease. Archives of internal medicine.  1993. 153 (18) : 2093-2101 DOI: 10.1001.archinte.153.18.2093PMID8379800 

C.C. Streeter a,⇑ , P.L. Gerbarg b , R.B. Saper c , D.A. Ciraulo a , R.P. Brown Effects of yoga on the autonomic nervous system, gamma-aminobutyric-acid, and allostasis in epilepsy, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder . Med hypotheses (2012) doi:10.1016/j.mehy.2012.01.021

Namaste - cultural appropriation vs cultural appreciation- an exploration. 

Namaste. A word known to many. But what does it really mean and is it ok to say  it and if not, why not. 

There are many different ways to interpret and pronounce namaste. In the literal sense it is a Sanskrit word and Hindi greeting to say hello. The other potential meaning is “the divine in me bows to the divine in you” however Leong, 2021 states that that is an “entirely false notion” and believes ingroups who profit from outgroups identity is known as identity capitalism -namaste being an example of this. Other examples of this that detach from traditional roots and enter into commodification is T-shirts bearing “nama-stay in bed” , “nama-slay” and “namaste bitches”. (Shearer, 2022) 

Further research showed that namaste was used even though students had no idea what it meant and that the British yoga instructor changed her name from Susan to Saraswati in an attempt to be more authentic and Sanskrit names were only used to differentiate from any other fitness class (Munir, 2021) is this misappropriation or appreciation?? I am a white, able bodied, woman from Suffolk – is it appropriate for me to be using Namaste? Is it about culture or is it about the use of Namaste in the wrong context? Can I still appreciate yoga’s roots without misappropriate use?

From a personal experience, I was asked to remove my yoga class from a church hall as I was “too spiritual”?? I was told that Anjali mudra (prayer in front of chest) was a sign of religion which was in conflict with the church’s religion. There is a wider discussion about religion which I do not have the word count for but there was a lot of assumption from this comment and many questions to be asked /pondered on 1) is yoga a religion? 2) What is “too spiritual”? 3) Anjali mudra is a mudra used for pranayama not a religious symbol in that context.  Obviously, there is more to this than meets the eye but also brings up an interesting point of peoples pre-conceptions about yoga and mis-appropriation.

 From a student perspective do the students look forward to hearing namaste? Does hearing Sanskrit names for poses or having certain things in the environment affect the overall benefit of yoga practice? Or is it about true authentic experience? This is something I will explore with my students very soon to understand a bit more about my offerings as a teacher. 

In conclusion I feel that yoga’s culture can be acknowledged, preserved and respected with both appropriation and appreciation with further education and knowledge as a yoga teacher without the need for commodification and misappropriation. Awareness and education as a teacher and for the students is key to respect yogas roots and choices surrounding cultural appropriation and appreciation. 

References 

Shearer, Marisa, Mantras and Monetization: The Commodification of Yoga and Culture (August 14, 2022). Marisa Shearer, Mantras and Monetization: The Commodification of Yoga and Culture, 21 Va. Sports & Ent. L.J. 38 (2022)., Available at SSRN: https://ssrn.com/abstract=4190057 or http://dx.doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.4190057

Munir K, Ansari S (Shaz), Brown D. From Patañjali to the “Gospel of Sweat”: Yoga’s Remarkable Transformation from a Sacred Movement into a Thriving Global Market. Administrative Science Quarterly. 2021;66(3):854-899. doi:10.1177/0001839221993475 

Barbie and backbends- Yoga in 2023

Do you feel like you have lots to say but nothing to say?? 

I have felt like this for sometime. Again, ideas for blogs have come and gone but nothing I felt was worth saying. Why?  I don’t think I’m not worthy of saying things and definitely not worried about sharing an opinion but I somehow felt …. Stifled? 

Social media as we know can be really great to grow and educate ourselves but it can also be a very toxic place. Everyday I see online abuse and arguments in full flow and am horrified at a) some people’s mindset/outdated opinions /thoughts 

B) the way people share these thoughts 

So as I write this I realise that it’s not that I don’t have anything to say it’s more likely how it’s going to be received. Because although we think we have the right to an opinion there’s always someone who will attack someone for it. 

Just look at the controversy of the new Barbie movie. I’m not a feminist- far from it - but watching it made me cry especially with America Ferraras speech (if you know you know!) why? Because even with that powerful and very truthful speech …. We as woman were condemned as “over emotional” and “over reacting” and “sexist” (of all things!) when actually if you look at some of the references “oh we aren’t allowed to say that to her  - we just cover it up better now” was it in a nutshell. I found myself feeling uncomfortable watching it  …. Because … it’s the truth … and we are saying it out loud… in films and everything! And still feel like we shouldn’t! 

So why have I bought this up in a yoga blog?? Self-care, self-love and self-esteem - in yoga, these terms are included in the yama's and niyams's. The Yamas and Niyamas speak about your behaviour, the way we treat ourselves and the world around us. 

Ahimsa needs to take place in every situation that occurs in our lives if we are to walk the spiritual path. Ahimsa can be as simple as refraining from gossip because talking harmfully about someone else is considered to be himsa (harming) in action.

We would also not want to support someone else’s harmful behavior. This is seen as himsa, too. 

Really, any thought, word or action that acts as an obstacle to freedom for ourselves or another is considered harmful in nature.This total sense of non-violence and non-harming brings about love, positivity and goodness – all qualities that we want to foster as yogis. 

We all need to work to cultivate ahimsa toward ourselves. Refraining from violence toward ourselves may be one of the greatest challenges of being human.Negative self-talk and self-sabotage are constantly acting as obstacles on the path to self actualisation. If you were to record the negative voices in most people’s heads on any given day, you’d understand better just how difficult self-acceptance is.

So many of our thoughts are unconscious and deeply ingrained – like the grooves in a record.

The beauty of yoga and meditation is that they help us to stop the needle on the record from making new grooves or making those grooves deeper.Within our practice we learn self-love and self-care practices in order to cultivate ahimsa toward ourselves.

So my job as a yoga teacher is to bring forth this education in my classes - namely my yoga for mental health wellness classes. 

When we apply ahimsa to our yoga practice, the same holds true. Sometimes we can approach our yoga and meditation practices with a kind of aggressive striving or competitive energy.

We think, “I’m going to beat my mind or get into that pose if its the last thing I do!"

Sometimes the intention beneath the path of self-improvement is far from being one of self love. It can often have a jagged edge to it, feeling like we are beating ourselves up, instead of accepting ourselves as we are- and that is the hardest part sometimes. So after reading this blog I hope you will reflect on ahimsa and ask yourself some valuable questions about self care, self worth and having something to always say! I will leave you with said speech from Barbie - enjoy! 

"It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining. You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know."